How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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