I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
