so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
