I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my sisters under your porch take her home
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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