I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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