Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
