This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
