We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
that is very illegal...i love you.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
