remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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