loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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