i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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