I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
