the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
