I need help removing her.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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