im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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