i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
