so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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