we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
