it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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