Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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