Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
