worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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