HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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