So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
