i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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