I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
