North Korea, Best Korea!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
