apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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