I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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