Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
