I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
