K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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