im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
