Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Buhtt sex?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I need to align my fucking chakras
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
