Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
