His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
