I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
