i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
