how can u be prego again
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize