Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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