What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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