no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
