dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
