Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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