I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
