She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
