he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize