She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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