check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
