It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
