D3 body, D1 cock
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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