Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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