Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
