a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
