I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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