i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
