I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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