FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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