Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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