then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
