i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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