smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
