My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
