Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
