what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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